This time I mean it....

How many times have you said that in your life? I've said it too many times to know. I'm doing things a little differently this time. I don't mean it. I'm just going with the flow. I'm going to see what happens. I'm not going into this with any unrealistic expectations or unwanted heartache. What ever happens will happen and I am just going along for the ride. I'm tired of disappointing myself. This time will be different because I'm not playing by the rules. I'm just making them up as I go. Today is day 5 and I've already lost 9.4 lbs. I'm not going to sit here and pat myself on the back. I'm just going to relax and enjoy the ride. Well, I'm off to the gym. I mostly go so I can use the massage bed but while I'm there I might as well use the treadmill right?

-Penny

Juicing: Day 4

It really only gets hard at night time. That's when the hunger and desire to eat crap kicks in. I have managed to not give in to temptations thus far. It's hard though. I've been having weird dreams lately. I blame the juicing but its all good. I feel better now that I have gotten up and started doing things around the house. I've noticed that I have a lot more time on my hands now since I'm not grazing (eating) all day. Which is good. You don't really realize how much food consumes your life until you take a break from woofing it down. I'm not feeling that crazy spark of energy yet. I think my body is still trying to get rid of all the toxins. I'm not going to give up. This is more of a life change than a diet. I will eventually incorporate plant based foods. This is more of a jump start to eating healthy and getting my body used to what it should be doing. 

I am going to Universal in September and I want to be able to walk the entire amusement park with out feeling like I am going to pass out. These are the little things that people take for granted. The ability to walk what seems like endless amounts of time. I wonder if there are any juice bars in Orlando. I figure there has to be. It is a major area. Planning ahead is something I like to do. I'm more of a tentative planner because I get that things happen and you have to change your schedule. It is nice having options because you did some research. 

It's almost the weekend. I can't wait until Monday to share my new weight. =) 

Juicing: Day 3

     Already on day three huh? Last night was harder because I kept thinking about unhealthy food. It the thought gets stuck in my head then I usually go for it but I didn't. I was able to resist temptation and stick to my juice and water. I think that will be the hardest part about all of this. I've been reading about how other people juice and doing what works best for your life. I don't want this to be some fasting. I want this to be the beginning of a new healthy life. So as the 60 days come my habits will change. Some people juice twice a day and eat plant based food for dinner while other people juice m-f and eat plant based food on the weekend. I don't exactly know how this will all work out for me but I know I want the next 60 days to be filled with healthy decisions. For me, since I've never been taught how to live a healthy lifestyle I figured juicing would be ideal while I pick up some helpful hints along the way to incorporate. I'm having to re-educate myself on what is right and wrong in terms of food. I haven't the slightest idea of what else is healthy out there besides salads and even those can be unhealthy.

     Part of me feels like a failure to begin with because I allowed myself to get to this point. I'm 29 and only now I am learning about how to be healthy. It's pretty sad and pathetic. I'm glad that I'm doing something about it now. I could have waited until I was much older and by then I'd probably have so many medical issues it wouldn't be funny. As of right now I'm not on medication for anything. I am able to walk and explore the world. Some people can't do something as simple as walk. I count my blessing all the time. I just keep having to remind myself of this while I am going through this process. I have a lot to be grateful for. Life is amazing!

Juicing: Day 2

      Well, yesterday went well. I mostly juiced carrots and pineapples. They were amazing! I didn't have the pineapple until later in the evening. I'm trying to do the 70 veggie / 30 fruit combo since fruits can turn to sugar and that's not exactly what I'm looking for. Today I am going to add cucumbers to the mix. Hopefully they will yield more liquid than the carrots. I bought 3 bags and I used all 3 bags but it was worth it because it tastes so good. I woke up with a slight hung over feeling but water is helping with that. Day one out the door! Day two here I come! I don't have any cravings for real food yet. I mostly just want to lay down and relax with my puppy. He is being a cuddle bug today. =) I am resisting getting on the scale. I am the type of person who would step on it everyday just to see it move. I promised myself I will wait the full week before I do step on it. Right now that is the hardest part of all of this.

Juicing: Day 1

      My local Kmart is going out of business so I managed to buy a decent juicer for $13.56! I then went to Aldi's and bought a bunch of fruits and veggies. The first thing I juiced are carrots. It tastes amazing. I bought 3 bags worth of carrots and it still didn't even fill my jar. I need to keep that in mind next time I go back to the store. I bought other items like kale, plums, celery, cantaloupes, a pineapple, and I'm  sure I'm forgetting something. I never realized how much I love carrot juice. Part of me wants to mix it with the cantaloupe but I dunno how that will be. I'm being hesitant on taking risks here. I weighed myself this morning and I won't weigh myself again until next week. I'm one of those people who will weigh myself everyday if I allow it. I think I want the surprise of what the scale will say. We shall find out if I can hold back from using it. So far so good.

     Along with putting the right foods in my body I am starting to exercise this week. I start Zumba class tonight. I hope that is fun. Sometimes I get nervous meeting new people but it is good to get out there and see what happens. I plan on doing Zumba 3 days a week and the other 2 days going to the gym. I will probably take the weekends off. We'll see. Everything seems to be going fine so far. Day one isn't over yet and I hope it continues to be great.

 

                                             

Self Care

      Sometimes you have to think about yourself. This weekend was all about self care. I walked around the boardwalk and I went to the beach. I love the smell of the ocean. It was very relaxing. Sometimes all you have to do is make sure you make yourself happy. Even if it is just one thing at a time. We can't always do big events. Pick something small like time alone for 30 minutes or reading a book for a chapter or two. Today I keep this short because I am not done thinking about myself for a change. I'm off to spend time with people I love and enjoying my night.

Cleanse

       Sometimes you have to cleanse your life in order to weed out the good and the bad. This goes for all facets of life. When you're at home today take a seat in your room, kitchen, living room and look around. Is there unnecessary clutter? Is there something you've been holding on to just because? Or maybe there's a reason but deem down you know its not a valid reason. Like holding on to something someone gave you because it reminds you of them. Sure it may be a worn out tattered and torn t-shirt but hey it makes you feel good right? Maybe.... Whats more important are your memories. Things are just that things. Purging the non-essentials in your life will help you determine whats most important. Some people say if you haven't used it in 6 months toss it, donate it or sell it. Having a yard sale is a good way to make some money and meet the person whose going to have new memories with that item.

     Decluttering your home isn't the only way to cleanse yourself. Think about the people in your life friends, family, co-workers. Are there some people you keep around knowing  they aren't the best for you? Are you on a diet but people re trying to pressure you into "just one bite"? Are you trying to do homework but "come on you can finish it tomorrow" ? These type of people aren't in it for your best interest. They're usually self-centered and want what they want even if it is at your expense. It's time to get rid of toxic people in your life. It might be hard at first because those are the type of people who seem to linger around and over stay their welcome. Eventually they'll get the hint. Or you'll have to break up with them. I've have to break up with friends before. It's about as awkward as breaking up with your partner but in the end its worth it. You need people in your life who are encouraging even if they disagree. You need people who will support you even if they think your wrong. You need people who even if you are complete opposites will have your best interest at heart. And in return you will do the same for them. It's okay and frankly I encourage having friends who have different opinions from yourself. It's not okay if they try to force those opinions on you. There's a difference between saying "Hey I'm a Democrat/Republican"  and saying " Oh you're a libtard/retardican" one is factual and the other is hateful. Who do you want on your side? Watch how they treat other people whose different from them because I can guarantee that's what they're doing to you when you're not around.

     Another way to cleanse is to cleanse your mind, body and spirit. Get rid of all that negativity and self hatred. First of all you can't control other people so if someone is being stupid and acting negative don't let that influence your mental state. There's no reason to hate or be ill-full. In order to be positive you must accept that there is pain in the world. Don't try and hide it; embrace it and explore it. Being negative only brings you down. There is  no upside to it. You need to keep your mind sharp and in order to do that you have to be accepting of others and of bad situations. Cleanse your body. Treat it with the respect that it deserves. Don't dwell on the past. If you've spent the past 20 years treating your body like crap then get over it. Spend the next 20 years loving yourself and doing what you know is right. Eat right, pay attention to what your body is telling you, drink plenty of water. Do all the things you know you're supposed to do. You're not going to be perfect at it right away. Hell, you probably will mess up. Its about progress not perfection, Finally spirit. I am by far no means a missionary. I think everyone is entitled to believe in what ever they want even if that means not believing. I don't think spirit has to exclusively be a religious aspect. I think its about your inner core and being happy with who you are. Some people who to church while others meditate. It's not about what your beliefs are but more about allowing yourself to be open to acceptance. Just breathe and calm your inner self.

Education

Education

       It really doesn't matter what you want to do with your life education is very important. Think about it, when you get a new job they train you, if you pick up a new hobby you have to learn how to do it, if you want to do something new then you have to educate yourself on the issue. For me this past week as been all about educating myself. I joined some FaceBook groups on juicing, I've been reading articles about it and I've been talking to people about it. I've juiced before and only made it 7 days. In my heart of hearts I want to make it the full 60 days. For me this type f change does not come easy. In terms of health and taking care of myself change is hard. I want to help alleviate that transition by educating myself. Learning is a never ending process. I you want to be a better you then you must learn to be that person. There will always be glitches and learning curves but the idea is to keep going. 

       You know how they say it took Edison 10,000 tries to create the light bulb? With each try he learned something. He learned what didn't work and what might work better if done slightly different. Educating yourself helps when you are facing the fork in the road head on. Left is a bumpy road that will lead you to where you want and right is the easy ride that will never quite get you to your destination. Learning to read the map will give you a better idea on what road to take. I don't know how many tries it'll take me to get where I want to be but I know that if I try long enough I will find the path that works for me. 

      You see education isn't about being forced to sit and read some book for an hour and retain all that information. It's about finding a topic you're passionate about, like me and my lifestyle choices, and finding new information. Now a days you don't have to memorize a cook book recipe or how many steps make a mile of walking. If you find yourself struggling just take out your phone and look it up. It's about progress not perfection. A truly educated person knows that life isn't about "Keeping up the the Kardashions" (lol I made a funny) but it's about your own self perspective and the beauty that lies within you. Life can be whatever it is you want it to be. Do you want to sit in the filth of your own ignorance? Or do you want to stay educated? The choice is yours; choose wisely my friends. 

Community

Community

     In a world filled with computer screens, tablets, Iphones and Xboxes a part of our reality can get lost. Yep, I see the irony in this. I'm just some girl behind a screen. I think people get too immersed in their virtual worlds that they forget to build a community. Playing around on FaceBook or hanging out on Call of Duty is all fine and can lead to great conversations but are you making that your community? Or are you making that your escape from real life? Community is what you make of it and can lead to many great and surprising life experiences. 

     I've been lacking in that sense of community lately. I feel lost in a world full of people. I often times feel like that little girl in the Blind Melon music video, No Rain. She's in this world trying to find her place in it.  I know that feeling very well. I think at times many of us feel that way and it's okay as long as we do something about it. Sitting around and moping about our situations wont solve anything.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qVPNONdF58&noredirect=1 

    We must be agents of change. If you want something then you have to create steps in order to obtain it. I long for a community of people who understand my struggles with food, weight loss, life choices and my lifestyle. Some times this means joining more than one group in order to find a balance. Community is why I started this blog. I want to find people who know about or want to learn about exercise, yoga, weight loss, self-esteem, community and so much more.  As of right now I joined a Zumba class that I will start Monday. Meeting people and making connections is what being an adult is about. To be fair that is what life is about. Hey, don't get me wrong if you can find a way to seclude yourself from the world and be happy then who am I to say its wrong. However, this post isn't about people who are happy living like that. It's about wanting to be fulfilled in a world that involves other people. It's about finding people who fit your life and vice versa. What do you do when you want that sense of community? Do you have an suggestions? Change from within is easier said than done but change is more likely to happen if you surround yourself with positive influences. 

Confessions Of A Junk Food Kid

My Story

       I'm just your average American girl living in a world where food is abundant and saying no isn't always a choice. I've always struggled with food. If it's yummy I want it in my tummy. I can remember moments when food brought people together. It is a constant source of feeling like you are a part of something. Think about it, you're at a party...food. You finally get a break from class and you want to unwind....food. You just get home from work and you need a moment to your self... food. When there is food there are people to share in it. "Hey, after class want to grab a bite to eat?" "Ugh, I'm so frustrated with work right now. Wanna get some pizza?" Food brings people together for the good and the bad. It is a permanent crutch in my life. 

       Growing up we ate a lot. We were dirt poor but somehow there was always ton of food to go around. With every meal at home I never once remember feeling  hungry afterwards. When you're young that's what you want. You want this never ending treasure trove of food. I didn't know then what that was doing to my body or how it would affect me later in life. 

      As an adult I have learned some things about what I thought food brought me. I thought food brought me people. Everyone is always up for grabbing a bite to eat. It gave me that sense of community that I enjoy. I find comfort in people but I thought I needed the food to get the people. I didn't know any better. Now I am trying to make steps to replace the food with activities that allow me to still have that sense of community. This blog is the first step. I hope others who struggle with food, weight loss, life choices and so many other ailments that food brings them can join in together to build a community of people, of supporters. I'm joining groups that are non food related like a Zumba class. I hope to join other groups in the near future. 

Who Am I?

     I am a 29 year old female living in North Carolina. I am working on my Masters in Professional Counseling. I have some hobbies like Geocaching. It's like an adult scavenger hunt. It's really fun and takes you to places you otherwise would not have gone to. I am also a novice couponer. With going to school and working part time I needed to find something that can help me save money on things I already buy. I am also a, lets just say, short distance traveler. I primarily go places between NC and FLA. I want to take I95 up the coast to Maine and find a geocache in every state on the Atlantic. I have a beautiful almost 3 year old beagle named Eterno. He is a crazy one but he's mine. I live with my brother and with his help I am growing vegetables and gardening. I am just your average chick trying to figure out her life. Not much to it but to do it.